My Hell
by phayte1978
Summary: Bakugou awakens, finding himself in hell- With a Deku who may (or may not) every forgive him.


Bakugou opened his eyes, but something was not right. Closing them again, his hands moving to rub at his eyes, he yawned and stretched long.

Something was wrong. It was quiet here, and there were no smell. Peaking out one eye again, there was… nothing. Everything was colorless and odorless. What was this? Had to still be a dream. Maybe he woke before his alarm. Rolling to his side, Bakugou found he was not tired, and nothing in his body was sore.

He was always sore.

It did not matter how much he was healed, or stretched, his body was always sore. He pushed hard and worked even harder. You don't become top hero by doing anything half ass.

"Kacchan, it is time to get up," Deku said.

Startled, Bakugou jolted and jumped up. Wait… there was no bed either, and he was definitely awake. This was no dream. Blinking, he looked down at a small elementary Izuku with larger than life green eyes staring at him.

Spinning in a circle, Bakugou looked around- still nothing.

How the fuck could he be in nothingness? It was hard to think of what happen, everything up til the last few days was a total blur. The last thing he remembered was lunch with Kirishima…

"Deku… where are we?" he asked- it was weird, his voice never echoed.

* * *

_"Yanno, if you take these characters in your name, they could mean Deku!" Bakugou laughed out, his friends laughing along with him._

_It wasn't that he hated Midoriya, he just was an easy target. Kids were kids- right?_

_But it seemed like Midoriya would always take everything he gave, and still was there. No matter what happen. Bakugou would trip him in class, push him in the hallway, steal his milk- childish shit really. Midoriya just blinked up at him with those damn overly large green eyes._

_Can't this nerd see he is not like them?_

_It frustrated Bakugou. How could someone who has nothing still be so positive? How could someone who is nothing think he could be great?_

_Bakugou worked hard, even though at school they couldn't use their quirks yet- no, that is for high school. It did not mean that his mom didn't take him where he could work on his quirk. At least the old hag was good for something._

* * *

"Deku… where are we?" Bakugou asked.

Why was Deku even here? Where the fuck was here?

"Kacchan," Deku said, his face emotionless as those damn eyes- even bigger than usual continues to blink at him. "This is your hell."

"The fuck?" Bakugou asked.

"Yes… the fuck," Deku stated and turned to walk away.

Bakugou had no idea where Deku was going. How the fuck could he just leave him like this? All the times that damn nerd wanted to help him when he didn't fucking want it- now he fucking needed it and…

Deku was walking away.

"Deku!" he yelled, running after him- though he was always three steps behind. Deku was walking slowly, he was running as hard as he could.

What the fuck was this place? Sending a blast from his hands, he watched as it hit Deku's back, knocking him over.

Good- maybe the asshole will talk now.

"Does that help?" Deku asked and he turned around- his face and body blackened from the blast.

"De… deku?"

"Does hurting me make you feel better?" Deku's voice only got smaller as he said it, no emotion to his face, a single tear trailing down his blackened face.

There was a tightness to his throat, one he rarely experienced. He had blasted Deku so many times! Why did this one affect him?

* * *

_"Kacchan is amazing!" Deku squealed out, jumping place and cheering him on._

_He knew this already! He was the only one in elementary school who could beat up middle school bullies. He was now the ruler of their playground._

_"Let those meanies come by here again! I'll blast them even harder!" he exclaimed, though he knew he only got one good shot off every now and again- on a fluke._

_"Kacchan!" Deku chirped, running up to him. "I hope when I get my quirk it is just as cool!"_

_"Keep dreaming!" he boasted. "There is no way a twerp like you would get a cool quirk!"_

_It wasn't even something that worried him. His friends were getting their quirks, and some had some really cool ones- but no one had the power he did. He would need to work hard so he could go to UA when he got older._

_"You are going to be as strong as All Might!" Midoriya cheered, still jumping in place._

_"No!" he announced, "I'll be greater than All Might!"_

_All the boys on the playground stopped to stare at him in awe. Smiles on their faces, clapping their hands, and chanting his name. Yes… he be great one day._

* * *

How long has he been here? A day? An hour? A month?

Where was a fucking clock when you needed it? And why in all the depths of hell was he sitting here stuck looking at this freckled big eyed nerd? At least Deku was back to being- well normalish. His eyes still seemed to be freakishly larger than before.

"Are you just going to stare at me?" he asked.

Deku blinked his eyes. That was all he fucking did- stare at him and blink his eyes. No matter where he turned, there that fucker was. So he spent his time staring back at Deku.

"You could at least talk to me," he mumbled.

"Damn nerd," Deku whispered.

Groaning, Bakugou laid back, running his hands through his hair- whenever this Deku talked lately, it was just him spitting his insults back at him.

He did have a lot of time to think. He thought about why this was happening to him. He thought about being stuck with Deku in some level of hell. He thought of his parents.

There was nothing around him- he was tired, but sleep would not find him. He was hungry, but found he really didn't need food or water either. Time- what the hell even was that?

Oh wait… this is hell. For all he knew, it could have only been minutes that passed.

* * *

_Standing on the platform, Bakugou looked out over his peers and to everyone in the stands. This was such bullshit. This Sports Festival was his- hands down. Everyone else was just an obstacle he would step over to win._

_Maybe it would be easier if his stupid class would just realize this._

_"I am going to win."_

_That was all he had to say. Screw that they think! He didn't need to go up there with big fancy words and charm everyone. He was no ass kisser. That was for other idiots in his class. He was out to be number one- and you didn't become that by kissing ass._

* * *

Why did Deku continue to laugh at him? He had no idea what the hell was going on. One moment he was wandering- to nowhere. Then Deku shows up laughing at him.

"What the hell?" he yelled- his voice still with no projection or echo.

"It is just so funny!" Deku laughed, grabbing himself by the center and bending over.

Growling, Bakugou flexed his palms. He had had enough. Opening his fist, he went to do what had become natural to him- second nature.

But nothing happened.

"The hell?"

Deku laughed even more, this time falling to the ground and rolling from side to side.

He tried again, nothing- not even smoke left his fingers.

"How's it feel to be quirkless?" Deku asked, rising to his feet and walking towards him.

Jumping back, Bakugou put his hands up to defend himself- but it didn't stop the blast from hitting him. Flying back, he fell on his bottom- hard.

"I asked you a question," Deku stated.

He had no idea what to say- he was completely defenseless and he was… quirkless.

* * *

_How the fuck did that nerd pass and he didn't? He could not have been any more upset than he already was. It was that fucking Deku and his bullshit quirk! How did someone like him get something so amazing._

_It was supposed to be about him! Sure, he won the festival, still ranked high in his class- but all everyone talked about was "Midoriya this!" or "Deku that!"_

_Even that icy hot bastard was nicer to Deku._

_The class was all happy for their licenses- it was rigged. He should have gotten his. He blasted his way through all this shit, and he was stuck with two idiots and two people who weren't even hurt! Who gives a flying fuck if he is nice?_

_That is not how shit gets done! No! You work hard, and you get shit done._

_Even blasting the fuck out of Deku and winning his fight against him- he still was out proving himself over and over. How long would he have to do this?_

_Deku was the stupid annoying kid who always chased him, always wanted to play with him- always wanted to geek out over All Might with him._

_Why did he feel like he was the one chasing Deku now? How did events turn as such?_

* * *

"I'm a shitty person… aren't I?" Bakugou asked.

"Yes, you are," Deku agreed.

He was laid out on the ground… or whatever it was, where ever he was. Deku laid next to him- they looked up into nothingness.

"What do you even do here all day?" he asked.

A shrug and Deku rolled over staring at him. "Stealing your quirk and annoying you… mostly watching."

"That's creepy," he mumbled.

A giggle was all Deku gave him.

"I was always… somewhat jealous of you," he admitted.

"How so?" Deku asked, leaning up on his arms more to stare down at him.

"You got All Might's power for crying out loud! You had him eating from your hand whenever you called! Who wouldn't be?"

"Well he was our idol."

"Is."

"True, still is," Deku agreed.

"I guess I should have told you long ago… but I don't hate you."

"That's good, Kacchan," Deku said. "Cause I've never hated you." With that, a cold hand grasped his and for the first time in a long time, Bakugou felt a smile forming on his face.

* * *

_"Dude! You need to lighten up!" Kirishima yelled._

_"Fuck off!" Bakugou yelled, blasting another stone in front of him._

_"You are always so angry and mean!"_

_"I'll kill you!"_

_"There you go again!" Kirishima said, rolling his eyes._

_It wasn't that Bakugou hated Kirishima- no, he admired him. Kirishima worked hard, and he was always by his side. He never tried to step out in front of him- hell, he even became a gross potato for him. That is what friends do._

_Looking at the other end of the arena, he saw Deku working with All Might and doing some strange jump kick._

_"Fucking worthless piece of shit!" Bakugou growled, blowing up another rock._

_"We really need to work on you anger issues," Kirishima laughed._

_Turning, Bakugou sent a blast to his annoying friend. Yes, Kirishima was his friend, but damn if he was not annoying as fuck at time._

* * *

There was no getting use to it all. No matter how long he had been there- how do you get use too… nothing? Even laid back, his head in Deku's lap as Deku giggle softly while playing with his hair. They didn't need to talk much, he spent more time thinking- more time regretting.

"I should have told them I loved them," Bakugou whispered.

"Told who?" Deku asked.

"Mom and Pops," Bakugou said.

"Oh," was all Deku replied.

The fingers in his hair- almost the way his mother would. It made him wonder if they were proud of him. Where they proud of who he turned into?

Sure, he had his mother's anger, but his Pops… oh his dear Pops. Fighting back the tightness in his throat, he thought of how his poor Pops was doing with all of this. Maybe he should have hugged the man more often, maybe he should not have fought with his mother so much.

There was so much he should have and should have not done.

His life had been good- though he could never accept good. He needed greatness. He needed to prove himself.

But what did proving himself do?

It left him laying here, in nothingness with Deku of all people. It made him reach for Deku when he needed comfort. There was not even a dark room he could hide and wallow in.

A tear slipped from his eyes. How many times has this been now? He had lost count.

Bakugou was always strong- there was never a question.

Maybe being truly strong was his weakness. Being strong meant you had to show those weaknesses.

"Oh Kacchan," Deku murmured, his finger playing with his hair.

* * *

_If he had been stronger, if he had been greater- All Might would still be a hero._

_Bakugou never wanted a crowd of people around him. Never wanted his classmates flaunting over him. He sure as hell didn't want their sympathy._

_It was best to keep holed up in his room- this way no one could see his pain, no one could see his regret._

_Everyday he pushed himself harder. Making his body scream in fatigue. He ate his dinner in his room, then he would pass out early til morning._

_If he had worked harder before, the villains never would have gotten him. All Might would not have had to save him._

_All Might would still be their hero._

_It was his fault._

* * *

How long has it been?

Bakugou found peace in the nothingness. He would lay back, stare off and just simply think. He actually looked forward to the moments that the big eyes Deku would come to tease and taunt him.

It made him wonder- would the real Deku be as forgiving? Would the real Deku even understand?

Having nothing to do for days on end, and staring into nothing gave one nothing to do other than think.

If he was in- hell, is what Deku called it. Then this Deku was not the real Deku. No, this Deku could easily take and give him his power. This Deku teased and taunted him. This Deku talked gently to him.

They didn't fight anymore, he felt his anger falling away. Maybe it fell into the nothingness. He had no idea.

"Kacchan… it is time to go back."

* * *

**TODAY's TIME - aka Reality**

The beeping was never heard anymore. Midoriya sat and just held Bakugou's hand. It was all his fault and he knew it. If they had not been so careless, Bakugou wouldn't be in this coma.

"How is he today?" Kirishima asked as he walked in.

"I think he worse," Midoriya whispered.

That morning he had flat-lined and the doctor's came rushing in. Midoriya held tightly to Bakugou's mother, crying as they waited for any word. He knew Kacchan's parents were debating pulling the plug as Kacchan only grew worse by the day. His brain was almost completely dead, and there was no signs of anything from him.

"You'd think he would fight harder," Kirishima said, balling his fist at his sides, tears running down his cheek as he stared down at his friend.

"The doctor's said with the trauma he had, he should have come out his coma months ago," Midoriya whispered.

No one had any idea anymore. Kirishima sat next to Midoriya as they laid their head on the bed and cried softly.

"Boys," Mrs. Bakugou said as her and her husband walked in. "We have made a decision."

* * *

**Hell...**

"So yeah… I think I am going to stay," Bakugou said, turning to face Deku, cupping his cheek. "I can never go back to a world where you hate me… Midoriya."

Big green eyes blinked at him, a smile formed on his face. Leaning in, Bakugou felt the warm brush of lips across his.

Yes, this was where he needed to be. Call it hell- but hell was a world where Midoriya would never forgive him.

As soon as their lips touched- Midoriya was gone- walking away, again.

"Midoriya?" he asked.

"Kacchan," Midoriya said as he started to fade away. "This is hell, you are not meant to have a happy ending."

That tightness in his throat coming back, Bakugou just stood, staring where Midoriya once was.

* * *

**Back in reality…**

Bakugou's mother stood over his bed, tears streaming down her eyes. Kirishima was sobbing into Midoriya's chest- he couldn't watch, but he had to be there. They both held onto Bakugou's hand and his parents held his other hands.

"Is there anything you all want to say to him?" The doctor asked.

Everyone was silent, only the sounds of their noses sniffling, and a sob building in their throats.

"No… it needs to be done," Bakugou's mother said.

"I can't believe he stopped fighting!" Kirishima cried out, keeping his back towards the hospital bed as he could not look at Bakugou in this state anymore.

Midoriya held his breath. He stood there, watching as his childhood friend had practically wasted away in a hospital bed- his vitals only growing worse by the day. They could not reach him- there were times he thought they were reaching him- but something always seem to pull him back. Squeezing Kacchan's hand a little tighter, he wanted something .

"Do it!" Bakugou's mother choked out, hugging her husband even tighter. She couldn't take her eyes off her baby, hoping she was stuck in a nightmare.

A nod from the doctor, and his hand went around the plug connected into the wall.

Once the plug was pulled - that beeping they all had grown accustomed to started to slow down. Even the respirator in Bakugou's chest stopped. It was just him… in the bed now.

They all held their breath, hoping .


End file.
